Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Craving, aching, and whining

Today was a tough day. Some days I feel fantastic and think that I can handle being prego for another 4 1/2 months or so. Today, not so much. I really should stop working 10 hours a day. I should really trade in my cute heels for something with cushion and velcro straps. I really should not have had Wendy's chicken nuggets. Seriously, don't tell anyone that I had a craving for honey mustard and chicken nuggets. Those poor hormone injected chickens that are stuck in a cage with 20 others until the day they are slaughtered. I told my mom and she about had an asthma attack right then. She is aware of my long time protest against fast food and tonight it got the best of me. I downed five golden nuggets dipped in honey mustard like it was a hot dog eating contest. I'm laying here now wondering if they are going to ever digest. The more I think about it, the more I feel them working back up my throat as a way of my body protesting all that I have stood against for so many years. I have been so proud to say I haven't had an unusual cravings. What's next? HUH?!? A bloody steak and pork chops? After all the women I talk to about pregnancy and their cravings I really thought it surely CAN'T be uncontrollable. It's all true though! I am sorry that I doubted you who ate a Big Mac everyday or eggs with m&m's (you know who you are).

Every night I come home and crash like a meteorite onto my couch. Scott has taken the role of caretaker because I act like I am about 97 years old. I ache all over and lift my legs up on three pillows. Whine, whine, whine...

During the day I feel our baby move around and I think to myself, "how could you not know you were pregnant?" I don't understand that show "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant." I mean a small part of me believes that some women are fairly symptom free but I would feel like a lunatic telling someone all my symptoms if I truly didn't think I was pregnant. Anyways...back to the movement thing. Some days I look in the mirror and have a mini panic attack because I forget I have this growing belly. Then comes the baby moving and grooving. Initially I think, "that's not a normal gas bubble." I have to remind myself it's the heirloom sized tomato baby trying to get comfortable in my womb. I do love that feeling though. Come to think of it, if I am uncomfortable then what must baby in the womb think? That can't be very comfortable AT ALL! Poor kid. That's why I believe we should have pouches like kangaroos instead of wombs. Just a personal thought though, I'm sure most would not agree.

I know that God created this process for our bodies but I will always be filled with wonder and amazement at it all. It's another beautiful mystery of our God. I'm glad I can partake even if it means strange cravings, achy bones, and uncontrollable emotions. It's going to be worth it.

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