Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Shoulder Tapper

Do you know that everyone feels lonely?  Everyone feels lonely at some point and time.  It's a deep sadness that sweeps over and no matter how you try to explain it, the explanation fails to reach the depths.  I don't feel lonely right now but I have been there.  It suddenly swept over me one day and I didn't know how to shake it.  I tried to blame it on Scott but that failed to make me feel fulfilled.  I tried to fill the loneliness with exercise, devotions, work, friends but it was hopeless.  I was walking around with a smile on my face and a pit in my stomach.  After about a week that felt like an eternity, I wrote in my journal, "Lord, I feel lonely lately."  I pretty much left it at that because I didn't know what else to do.  Never in my life had I experienced this bizarre feeling.  Usually, I don't mind being alone.  Being an introvert, it's easy for me to be by myself and usually more comfortable than being with a crowd.

One day after I told the Lord how I was feeling I was gently tapped on the shoulder at church by a woman.  It was during the time when you meet and greet for about a minute before the sermon begins.  We just shook hands and said good morning so why would the "shoulder tapper" want to extend our greeting?  During those meet and greets I prefer to say hi to people then turn around so I don't actually have to make small talk.  (Just being honest, don't judge me)  So, I smiled at her and she asked me what my name was.  She seemed nice enough so I told her and wondered what she wanted.  The woman proceeded to tell me that she believed God had a "word" for me.  UH HUH?  She said, "I felt like God was telling me you felt lonely.  I kept seeing the word 'alone' and He wants you to know that you are not alone, He is with you."  A huge lump in my throat appeared.  I didn't know if I was going to cry or throw up.  I was shocked as well as nervous.  Could this lady read my mind?  Did she somehow flip through my journal super quick?  How and why would God speak to her like that?  Scott was standing next to me when she said it in her sweet, calm voice but he looked confused.  Yes, I believe in prophecy, it's biblical but I thought you went up to the alter for that type of stuff.  Evidently, the altar is not the only place God speaks through people.

She asked me if that meant anything to me and I smiled and nodded my head, yes.  I turned away from her and opened my journal up to the last entry and showed Scott, "Lord, I feel lonely lately."  He raised his eyebrows in amazement and I sobbed.   I felt the arms of God wrap around me in that moment.  It was reassuring and comforting to know He was there no matter how I "felt."  It taught me not to get caught up in feelings or emotions.  We are truly aliens here on this earth and one thing I know for sure is that He will always be there no matter what I feel like.  Even in the darkest days, He's there.  I believe he allowed me to experience loneliness for a few reasons.  I needed to know what other people feel like when they say they feel alone, even the people that are always surrounded by others and look like they have it all put together.  I also needed to realize how much  I took God's presence and protection for granted.  From the moment I felt that big hug from God, I was at home again.

From time to time I am reminded of that day and the peace I felt.  Now, when other people tell me they feel lonely, I can reassure them that they are not alone.  We can not be led by our unsteady emotions, we must believe every second of the day that He will never leave us nor for forsake us.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Friday, December 9, 2011

Baby Rhylan

Baby Rhylan Stats

Two teeth
A grin that's contagious
A small laugh but not quite a continuous giggle
Rolls stomach to back and back to stomach
Loves to chat
Can go from crying to smiling in 1/2 a second
Grabs her toys and immediately puts them in her mouth
Loves to stand with a little help from Mom and Dad
Will go to sleep only after being sung to and bedtime prayers
Sleeps 6-8 hours
Spends Monday through Wednesday with Grandma's
Still nursing
Size 3-6 month clothing
Travels much better in her car seat
Blue eyes
Sandy blonde hair
4 months young
13 lbs
25 inches long
42 cm head circumference

Brownie Points for Scott

I know I should be blogging about my beautiful baby and believe me, I will but I first have to brag about my Scott.  Scott has a the gift of giving.  He has picked wonderful gifts for me in the past.  He has been thoughtful and elaborate with his gifts for me.  Honestly, though, it's grown few and far between in the last couple of years. I'm not saying he has turned into a bad husband by any means.  He makes me dinner, drives me around in the winter, and will make a Ben & Jerry's run without hesitation.  These are all things that I ask for though.  I am a selfish lady and I want him to go beyond.  I know, I know, it sounds ludicrous.  I have never claimed to be a sane person :)

I have a friend that gets a love letter from her husband every year.  She asked for it a few years back and that's what she gets every Christmas.  I think it's beautiful.  It's easy to forget to tell each other what we love  about one another with kids, work, bills, and busy schedules getting in the way.  Who cares if she asked for it, that's what she wants and needs.  Imagine the moment he hands her the love letter...She eagerly, yet carefully opens it, knowing the contents are filled with sweet affirming words of his undying love for her.  Her heart skips a beat and rekindles a new flame in their relationship that lasts until the next letter.  It may not be what every woman needs but it speaks directly to her from him and that's what matters. 

Scott thinks extravagantly when it comes to gift giving.  Last year for my birthday he bought me a brand new snowboard.  It made me grin from ear to ear but then I got pregnant and couldn't use it.  So, over the year, especially after I BIRTHED A HUMAN, I kept saying I wanted him to think of me and do something special for me.  I know, ME, ME, ME. :)  I tell him all the time, "you know me, I don't need extravagant, I don't like jewelry or flowers."  He kept trying say he wanted to get me something big but I said no, I just want you to think of ME.  ME!  Who am I?  What do I like?  Come on Scott, I know you know this.  Hint: I'm frugal.

Finally, tonight, he was getting ready to go get us a movie and he says "oh yeah, I got this for you."  He pulled a little square paper out of his pocket that was from HyVee.  It had a QR code on it.  For those of you without smart phones, it's a bar code that takes you directly to the company's website when scanned by your camera phone.  It took me to a phone app where I could make grocery lists and keep up on weekly coupons and deals.  Coupons! Deals!  A man after my own heart.  He could have thrown that away so easily but he thought, "Krista would love this.  She loves making grocery lists and finding deals."  He thought of meee!  That's all it took.  You know when you are first dating someone and you can't help but see things and think of your boyfriend/girlfriend? Then, you get married and you just assume that because you said "I do" that it's a give-in that you love them.  NEWS FLASH!  It's never a give-in.  Women always need to know you think of us when you are out and about, even when grocery shopping.  As far as I'm concerned, Scott won some major points with that gesture.  He's still pursuing my heart, with coupons, no less.

This year, guys, remember who your wife is.  We may come off as complicated creatures most days but if you take out all the distractions of life, we are just women wanting to be wooed by our lovers from time to time.  

Examples of ways to speak to a woman's heart:
  • My dad picks flowers up for my mom while he's on a run.  
  • Scott's dad buys his wife sweet cards.  
  • My friend's husband takes her on a date once a week, no exceptions
  • My friend's husband buys her clothes, just because
The Five Love Languages is great book that every human, married or not, should read.