Sunday, October 28, 2012

My rant

Who believes in the future?  Who believes that the future is the decisions that you make now?   My mom asked me about voting and I just babbled on and on about no one taking personal responsibility for their own actions and finances.  I rant only when I have recently seen my own faults.  I was feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders and complaining about money, my relationship, taxes (dang taxes) and feeling like there was no path to a brighter future.  My negativity wasn't coming from only the external, it was coming from poor choices I've made "in the moment", blaming others, and lack of time management.  It was time for some internal weight to be taken off.

That extra weight of the world may be coming from your own decisions if...
  • you are late paying rent but just bought the latest Halo game for XBOX
  • your electricity nearly gets shut off every month but you just filled a cart full of non-essentials at Target
  • you can't afford healthcare but you eat out every day, smoke a pack a day, and drink $40 worth of booze every weekend.  
  • you complain about not having money and then eat out every day 
  • you tell everyone and their dog about your problems but don't do anything to change them
  • you would rather take vacations... then pay your mortgage
  • you grab a coffee, scone, and leave a tip and then panic when you overdraft your bank account
  • you complain about taxes but do you really know how much you pay in taxes compared to how much "good" marketing sucked you right into the IPHONE5, a case for it, a charger for home and your car, and a few apps?
  • you talk about gas prices going up but haven't peddled a bike or walked a few blocks in years
  • you say you have no time for anything but you update your facebook status, instagram, and twitter 12 times per day
  • you say that you should reeeeally clean your car out but a rerun of the Kardashians is on
  • you say that you never see your spouse but you're online 2 hours a day
  • you say that counseling isn't for you but you tell all your friends all your issues
  • you tell everyone that you just don't understand why your kid can't pull it together but you never let them learn or grow because you want to be a hero all day and clean up their messes for them
  • you don't have time to volunteer to help others but you find yourself at Walmart in the clearance aisle for 30 minutes at a time plus the other 45 minutes where you add $50 more dollars worth of crap in your cart that you don't need
  • you can't afford to eat healthy but you can afford beer and cigs
  • you continue to buy the latest clothing styles, phones, toys, gadgets, etc for your kids but wonder why they don't respect you when you say no, or don't make time for you or the family.  (You are teaching them to take you for granted) 
  • you are jealous of everyone else's stuff so you go buy your own stuff only to regret it, just like the person you were admiring did after they bought all their stuff
Honestly, I'm not on a high horse, I just hired a financial adviser to help us see the big picture of our future because I have chosen several of these options.  I easily had several of these things on my list!  I hated the way I felt about my future and I was getting so stuck in the problems of today that I forgot the hope of tomorrow.  

I recently had a realization that my life is continuing to go at the same pace  it always has.  I KNOW, REVOLUTION!  It's not slowing down!  If I am going around in circles with my financial situation because I can't handle walking into Target or a mall without blowing my savings, then we have a problem.  Yes, I do love to save but I also love shoes!  I have to make a choice of buying shoes that will be out of style next year or invest in my long term future.  Honestly, shoes win about half the time.  I do love my husband but if I'm not daily or heck, even weekly investing in him then I'm not investing in my future with him.  I talk to people of all ages and I have come to realize that we really don't change if we don't change.  Age doesn't change a person, a person who takes the time to make a change is the only way that people change.  Sometimes it takes almost losing a life to change and sometimes you lose your business, your house, your kids, your job, your car, your spouse, or your best friend.  

Change isn't always about the right timing or a feeling, it's about investing in your future.  If you have a vision for your child, then invest in your child, start a savings for them, teach them how to respect others and prepare for the future, teach them to contribute to society instead of only taking.  Don't wait for the future to change you, you change your future.  Think positively about it, write down goals, take your time to make time for important things.  If you write your goals down, map it out, dream it, envision it, walk it, and live it. Ignore negativity and for goodness sake, stop saying YOLO (you only live once) while you blow your future dreams only to wake up and it's reality and you have to start over...AGAIN.  Ask for help, get accountability for goal setting, make sacrifices.  Do you really need the latest and greatest?  Ask yourself where that need is coming from, do you want acceptance, do you think you aren't great enough as you are?  Like yourself, and love yourself.  

I know that voting does make a difference but don't get sucked into the negativity.  Let's talk about the good stories, lets start at home with positive words and let it spread.  Pay it forward by giving someone a compliment, make a lunch for someone, carpool, go for a walk with a new friend, make your significant other feel special, and take time to volunteer.  Remember the "Golden Rule", do unto others as you would have them do to you.  Take responsibility for your actions because that will make the world change.

And as that band Wilson-Phillip said in 1990 ...  I just got that song stuck in your head, don't deny it, you're going to sing it all day :)  You're welcome.

HOLD ON
I know this pain 
Why do lock yourself up in these chains? 
No one can change your life except for you 
Don't ever let anyone step all over you 
Just open your heart and your mind 
Is it really fair to feel this way inside? 

Chorus: 
Some day somebody's gonna make you want to 
Turn around and say goodbye 
Until then baby are you going to let them 
Hold you down and make you cry 
Don't you know? 
Don't you know things can change 
Things'll go your way 
If you hold on for one more day 
Can you hold on for one more day 
Things'll go your way 
Hold on for one more day 

You could sustain 
Or are you comfortable with the pain? 
You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness 
You got yourself into your own mess 
Lettin' your worries pass you by 
Don't you think it's worth your time 
To change your mind? 

(chorus) 
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/w/wilson+phillips/hold+on_20147057.html ] 
I know that there is pain 
But you hold on for one more day and 
Break free the chains 
Yeah I know that there is pain 
But you hold on for one more day and you 
Break free, break from the chains 

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to 
Turn around and say goodbye 
Until then baby are you going to let them 
Hold you down and make you cry 
Don't you know? 
Don't you know things can change 
Things'll go your way 
If you hold on for one more day yeah 
If you hold on 

Don't you know things can change 
Things'll go your way 
If you hold on for one more day, 
If you hold on 
Can you hold on 
Hold on baby 
Won't you tell me now 
Hold on for one more day 'cause 
It's gonna go your way 

Don't you know things can change 
Things'll go your way 
If you hold on for one more day 
Can't you change it this time 

Make up your mind 
Hold on 
Hold on 
Baby hold on