Parenthood is unimaginable until you become a parent. In whatever way you come about becoming a parent there's always one thing that I know as truth, no one knows until you KNOW. We love our new life but it's different than the old one. I've read the "carpe diem" blog that went around and I get it but then again I don't. I don't have a toddler yet and I only have one child. I am cherishing each day, I can't help it. Scott and I don't have any family plan of adding on to our child tally so it could be that Rhylan is the last baby I have. Looking at her each day while she grows right before my eyes is the highlight of my day. She isn't a crier or a fussy kid so it maybe that reason that I can soak in every moment with ease.
As far as how it has changed Scott and I is really complicated. Having a baby brought us closer together and also gave us another reason to disagree. There are times when we are enamored with each other and there are times when we are arguing over what to feed her and how much. When Rhylan was 5 months old we started to feed her a little bit of solid food, meaning rice cereal and pureed veggies. We were excited and we loved to watch her eat. I went to Los Angeles for a week shortly after we started her new food adventure. While I was gone Scott and his mom had the whole week with my baby. Yes, I say my baby because I was gone five days and I didn't want anyone else to touch her when I got home. The next two days proved to be a challenge for Scott, Rhylan and myself. Starting solid foods caused Rhylan to get backed up/constipated for four days. I know they say it's normal but she was NOT happy about it at all. She started to fuss and cry non-stop one day. There are a lot of babies that do this on a regular basis but not Rhylan, it's not her. Scott kept saying "feed her, feed her!" I would feed her and she still cried. Then he said the words that no man should say in a moment of crisis..."when my mom was here she never cried..." OH NO YOU DIDN'T!! He was banished from ever touching me or his child again. I quickly scooped my baby up and ran up the stairs and told him to go away. He apologized and said he didn't mean what it sounded like. PFFF! I felt like I had the forehead stamp "BAD MOM" all over me. My kid was crying and it was because of me. We were all sorts of frustrated with the situation.
I was obsessively Rhylan how much I loved her while she cried and suddenly I realized that she was probably in pain from being constipated. I prayed for patience and for God to forgive me for overreacting and to give Scott and I wisdom. I laid my hands on her belly and prayed for her tummyache to go away. Scott came up and I explained to him what I was thinking and how his "factual" statement affected me. He understood and also apologized. During that time of reconciliation Rhylan had calmed down and within the next half hour she pooped. You could tell she felt so much better and Scott and I looked at each other with pure joy. Our little baby girl pooped! We were all in love and the experience taught us to never do anything without prayer. Babies get sick and injured so if Scott and I run around like crazy people in a state of panic every time Rhylan fusses we are going to lose sight of what we need to do. Pray! Pray! Pray! I have no clue how to be a parent or what parenthood looks like or if I will get chance to make another baby but it's okay, I promise to pray for Rhylan as much as a I can. I pray that God will use Scott and I to help develop her gifts and talents, keep her healthy, keep her safe, give us wisdom to guide her, bless her life, and show us how to love her like He loves her.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Phil 4:6
My mom gave me something that I read every day on my dresser. It says, "All the things that I prayed you would be, you are." Plain and simple, why wouldn't I pray for her?
Carpe Diem in some uses can mean: to enjoy, seize, use, make use of
Can't you make use of every day? Good or bad, isn't there some use to it, especially when a child is involved?
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