All the single ladies, all the single ladies

Here are my thoughts for ladies that are dating.  Relationships are never cut and dry but there are some things that you really shouldn't compromise on.  I'm not saying people can't change but you never should go into a relationship hoping someone will change to make them what you think they should be.  I talk to women all the time that have been in unhealthy relationships and they (me included) say the same stuff.  They wish they would've listened to their friends and family.  Here's my advice in no particular order:

1. He should have a steady job if he is over the age of 20. (If every person he works for is an "idiot" then it is most likely that he is the idiot)

2. He should believe in Jesus Christ as his personal savior (no compromise)
3. He should respect authority and elders (threatening to beat up an old man that cuts him off while driving is a red flag)
4. He should respect your body (your body is a wonderland...not Disneyland, make him wonder what's under there)
5. He should live on his own if he is over the age of 25 (this also includes men that still allow their mom to clean their living space and do their laundry)
6. He should have a bank account (If he has to cash his checks at Walmart, I would reconsider dating)
7. He should be drug free (Hugs not drugs)


Here are some red flags:
1. Men that are suicidal (it's dangerous to emotionally involve yourself in that way because if something ever did happen you would try to blame yourself)
2. Men that spend money they don't have (if he owes people money or is in a tremendous amount of debt, it WILL fall on you)
3. Men that degrade you to get their way (If he says mean things to guilt you into something, please run far far away)
4. Men that say they love God or have faith but then act a different way (Don't put your "I'm a Christian" blinders on...if he doesn't walk it then it doesn't matter if he talks it)
5. Past relationships where he has cheated (odds are he won't quit with you)
6. Boyfriends that try to isolate the relationship= control issues


Here are some lasting qualities that a man should have:
1. Love and appreciation and respect for his parents and elders (my ex was VERY disrespectful of my parents and I chose him over them but in the end it was my parents that were there for me and would do anything for me)
2. A willingness to seek wise counsel (it shows humbleness)
3. Should have your best interest at hand. (Any time a man puts his own interests in front of your own while dating will certainly do the same when you are married)
4. He should support your hopes and dreams
5. Love is not just a word.  Action, action, action 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Bottom line, when you get past all the mushy gushy feelings, he is really just a person. No one is perfect but there are things that you should never allow in your life. I did once and it caused me so much heartache. A heartache that I never want anyone to experience. 
Also, I thought that I was helping my ex-husband by staying with him but actually I wasn't.  I didn't allow him to learn things on his own that he should have. He leaned on me for everything and having a one sided relationship is NOT fun. It may seem intriguing at first but in the end it sucks.  I know a few couples that started out very rough and God transformed their lives but they will tell you, it's not an easy road.  Listen and watch for "red flags."  Use that girly intuition that God gave you.  Don't date just because you don't like being alone.  No other human will make you "whole" but God can.  I suggest you search for His wholeness before you try to have a relationship try to fill that hole.  

Ladies, be prayerful in who you date.  Giving up a relationship that you know is not right may seem like the most impossible thing to do when you're in it but stepping into God's will  never seizes to reap blessings.  Seek wise counsel while dating and into engagement and definitely into marriage.  

   "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards." Benjamin Franklin  :)