Shoulder Tapper

Do you know that everyone feels lonely?  Everyone feels lonely at some point and time.  It's a deep sadness that sweeps over and no matter how you try to explain it, the explanation fails to reach the depths.  I don't feel lonely right now but I have been there.  It suddenly swept over me one day and I didn't know how to shake it.  I tried to blame it on Scott but that failed to make me feel fulfilled.  I tried to fill the loneliness with exercise, devotions, work, friends but it was hopeless.  I was walking around with a smile on my face and a pit in my stomach.  After about a week that felt like an eternity, I wrote in my journal, "Lord, I feel lonely lately."  I pretty much left it at that because I didn't know what else to do.  Never in my life had I experienced this bizarre feeling.  Usually, I don't mind being alone.  Being an introvert, it's easy for me to be by myself and usually more comfortable than being with a crowd.

One day after I told the Lord how I was feeling I was gently tapped on the shoulder at church by a woman.  It was during the time when you meet and greet for about a minute before the sermon begins.  We just shook hands and said good morning so why would the "shoulder tapper" want to extend our greeting?  During those meet and greets I prefer to say hi to people then turn around so I don't actually have to make small talk.  (Just being honest, don't judge me)  So, I smiled at her and she asked me what my name was.  She seemed nice enough so I told her and wondered what she wanted.  The woman proceeded to tell me that she believed God had a "word" for me.  UH HUH?  She said, "I felt like God was telling me you felt lonely.  I kept seeing the word 'alone' and He wants you to know that you are not alone, He is with you."  A huge lump in my throat appeared.  I didn't know if I was going to cry or throw up.  I was shocked as well as nervous.  Could this lady read my mind?  Did she somehow flip through my journal super quick?  How and why would God speak to her like that?  Scott was standing next to me when she said it in her sweet, calm voice but he looked confused.  Yes, I believe in prophecy, it's biblical but I thought you went up to the alter for that type of stuff.  Evidently, the altar is not the only place God speaks through people.

She asked me if that meant anything to me and I smiled and nodded my head, yes.  I turned away from her and opened my journal up to the last entry and showed Scott, "Lord, I feel lonely lately."  He raised his eyebrows in amazement and I sobbed.   I felt the arms of God wrap around me in that moment.  It was reassuring and comforting to know He was there no matter how I "felt."  It taught me not to get caught up in feelings or emotions.  We are truly aliens here on this earth and one thing I know for sure is that He will always be there no matter what I feel like.  Even in the darkest days, He's there.  I believe he allowed me to experience loneliness for a few reasons.  I needed to know what other people feel like when they say they feel alone, even the people that are always surrounded by others and look like they have it all put together.  I also needed to realize how much  I took God's presence and protection for granted.  From the moment I felt that big hug from God, I was at home again.

From time to time I am reminded of that day and the peace I felt.  Now, when other people tell me they feel lonely, I can reassure them that they are not alone.  We can not be led by our unsteady emotions, we must believe every second of the day that He will never leave us nor for forsake us.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”