Change is not bad it's just different, different isn't bad, it's just different

Three months in to this motherhood thing and I think it's been a success. I say that because my baby is still alive. She's not like my poor house plants that ended up dying off within weeks of their arrival. There was a moment where I saw a lady that was pregnant and briefly missed my baby belly. THAT'S CRAZY TALK KRISTA, CRAZY TALK! I'm just getting my body back to normal and can exercise like my old self. There's a new normal that comes with trying to get back to the old normal though. When I was in Montana we did the same fun stuff like hiking and going to the lake but it came with a bit more work. We could go after making sure Rhylan was fed, changed, clothed, safely in her car seat and diaper bag in hand. Then, when we arrived at our destination we had to make sure we remembered to take her out of the car. One night Scott and I were headed to the Walmart Redbox like usual. We got out of the car, walked through the parking lot and suddenly realized we left our quiet sleeping baby in our backseat. Both of us did a 180 turnaround and ran back to the car feeling completely inept. I opened the car door in a flash, Scott jumped in front of me and ripped the car seat out of the base to make sure she was still alive. We both apologized incessantly...like she really cared ;) Right then, I remembered what it was like before she was born. It was just Scott and I. Six years went by quickly and I cherish every memory of "just us." We use to grocery shop together and go out to eat whenever we wanted. I just had my first solo grocery run. I must say I did quite well and did the drive-thru grocery thing. It was so easy I might just do it again!

Going out to eat is doable but for some reason, the moment our food comes she wakes up and hates life. We use to sit down and devour our meal but now it takes us an extra 20 minutes to eat between diaper changes and passing her back and forth to each other. Then, there's always the random strangers that want to know all about her and some even ask to hold her. I suppose they're friendly middle-aged women so it's not that threatening. Maybe I'll be one of those women when Rhylan is older and I miss cuddling a soft baby.

Another change is living on a 3-4 hour cycle. She eats, plays, sleeps. So if we go somewhere, I have to time it all out. She eats before we leave the house. Then I get a couple good hours to shop before she wakes up and I have to go the nursing room to feed her again. It's diaper changing time then we go eat. After we eat we head home just in time for her to wake up to need to eat again. It's exhausting some days, really exhausting. It's a daily cycle, no matter what I have to do everything is planned out in regards to Miss Rhylan Jo.

When people say you can't remember life without them I can't agree. Of course I remember, it's remembering the fun times and challenges we've had as a couple that makes me appreciate where we are today. I think it's important to remember who you are and what steps God brought you through to get to where you are now. Rhylan has crazy in love parents that had too much love to share alone forever. She is our extra love, she is our new normal.