When it all goes wrong

Recently there have been some major events in my life and other's lives that have prompted me to write again.

Last weekend I was suppose to do some training in Wisconsin.  I have gone back and forth about quitting teaching for my color company.  I got into being an educator because I knew that it would take my career to the next level.  It was going to push my limits and take me out of a comfort zone.  Now, I'm busy with a growing baby and a salon that is growing by the day.  It's a daily stretch for me and for Scott.

As I was planning this trip to go teach I realize that I'm forgetting a lot of things.  I didn't reserve my hotel room until 5 days before and I didn't get my teaching materials all together until two days before.  My least favorite thing is feeling unorganized.  My class was almost five hours away so I had to make sure my ducks were in line.

The plan was for my mom to join me in my travels but then Scott had to train on Monday so then that left me with no childcare for Rhylan.  It was getting more and more confusing and I really just wanted to call the whole thing off.  That was not an option though.  Scott decided to see if he could train on Tuesday instead of Monday and that worked out.  We decided to take Rhylan with us and make it a family thing.  I knew Scott wasn't looking forward to the drive but I really wasn't prepared to go it alone.

Before we left we needed to do payroll at the salon.  Long story short, we didn't leave as soon as we planned.  I had mixed feelings as we headed out of town.  I knew that Scott wasn't super excited about going so I told him to turn around and I will go by myself.  He told me that it would be fine and we should keep going.  I just wanted to quit, quit everything.  You know when you just want to escape all responsibility and head for the hills?  I never would but sometimes I forget I have the power of the Holy Spirit to comfort me and self-reliance becomes my "go-to".

My sighs become heavier and louder.  Scott rarely sees me like this so he spoke up.  He offered prayer first and it immediately softened my heart.  We started talking but I didn't tell him how confused I was about how I was suppose to manage all these responsibilities.  Scott can't let problems go, he can't see me hurting, so he takes action.  He started giving me solutions and I felt instant relief.  My heavy heart and bad attitude lifted.

Through all the mess and the discouragement God still shines.  It's not always cut and dry, it's not always a smooth journey.  There have been a few big moments in my life that God allows things to get stirred up so in the end, all I see is Him.  In the midst of all my planning God speaks through it and what looks like chaos is actually controlled chaos.  So, if I would've quit teaching, if Scott wouldn't have been able to go with me, if we wouldn't have been delayed at the salon, we wouldn't have talked through our situation.  I would have given up.  I'm not a quitter, I move on.  In this case it wasn't the time to move on.  It was time to learn my limits.  

This has happened to me a few other times in life where I feel like the odds are against me and the weight is too heavy but guess what, it's not my weight.  You know that saying, "God never gives you more than you can handle?"  Well, it's true because I am still standing ;)