Nurturing Nature

Rhylan had her first big cold last week.  She was full of snot, coughing and she ran a slight tempurature.  I felt so bad for the little baby girl as she tried to tell us how much her throat hurt.  It was this tiny wraspy voice that cried for help.  She clung to me day and night.  In the middle of the night she cried out for us to come get her so I wandered into her room at 1:30am to pick her up.  Her voice was nearly gone and every time she coughed she cried because it hurt.  Immediately I felt her temp had raised.  Obsessively Scott checked her temp every few minutes then called first nurse.  It wasn't over 102 so they felt that it was okay for now.  We held her until she fell asleep.  A few hours later she woke us up again and managed to have a smile on her face.  The temp went down as morning went by.  We prayed that God would heal her little body and thanked Him for her.

All this sickness was new to me.  I don't have a nurturing bone in my body on most occasions.  Being the youngest child allowed me to be the one cared for plus I'm rarely sick.  If I am, I sometimes call my mom and she immediately asks me how she can help.  I usually reply I don't need help, I just needed to tell her.  There's something about telling your mom that you're sick that makes you feel better.  When Scott is sick, it takes everything in me to want to help him.  I say "buck up, you're not dying, you have a cold."  I know, it's pretty insensative but I know every woman that I talk to says that their husband can tend to be a BIT dramatic when they're sick.  It's not like I don't care, I do, but I'm a problem solver.  I try to prevent illness by not touching door handles, not sharing food, wiping my shopping cart off, and I use my feet, knees, elbows, and wrists to open or close things.  For anyone who lived in the nineties, we call that behavior, "what about bob".

By nature, I am not nurturing.  Nurturing is out of my nature.  However you put it, I envy the ones in my life that are so sensitive to other people's feelings and wear their heart on their sleeve.  I tend not to show much emotion on my face.  I will tell you I am excited without a change of tone or lifted eyebrows.  I will be sarcastic without putting a smiley face next to it and that's when I get in trouble.  Back peddle, back peddle, back peddle.  This can make me seem super serious and intimidating when I'm smiling on the inside.  Generally, I think people are fantastic.  There are times when Scott will ask what my problem is and it takes me totally by surprise.

I concentrate on smiling with my mouth and eyes.  When I was pregnant, I cried enough for 10 pmsing women every day.  As a non-prego, I don't cry very much because I feel like it doesn't get anything accomplished besides ruining my makeup and an ugly cry face.  It doesn't bother me if other people cry though.  Everyone is allowed their own expression of emotion.  Mine just happens to be an internal dialogue then immediate problem solving with no expression on my face.  Is that weird?  I have been told it's kind of weird so I will continue work on my nurturing nature with my daughter, husband, family and employees.  It's okay to cry and be overly happy and be angry all in the same day.  We were made in God's image with all these emotions.

John 11:35 Jesus wept.       How refreshing to know that.