Thursday, January 1, 2015

Broken by love

Rhylan asked me to tell her stories of when she was a baby.  Sure, no problem.  Laying next to her, moving my fingers through her hair I vividly remembered the day I became broken by a love I had never known before.  I could see her baby face and her first smile and her tiny hands.  I remember changing her clothes and suddenly her tiny pajamas were too small.  With excitement, I showed her everything I knew.  Scott showed her how to joke and play.  She observed and soaked it all in. Suddenly, I knew nothing of an old life without a child.  Suddenly, I was broken by love.  There she was.

I'm broken.
I'm a broken mom.
They have broke me.

I love deeper.
I cry harder.
I weep knowing.

I know it's limited.
I know I can't sing to her forever.
I know this time will pass.

I weep.
I wail.
I am broken by love.

It's the innocence.
It's teaching her everything I know.
It's her teaching me.

The songs.
The laughter.
The firsts.
The lasts.

Good night my baby
Good night my baby girl
Good night my little girl
Good night...

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