Rhylan is a couple weeks old now and she grows on an hourly basis. In one day I went from proud and sentimental to feeling wore out and uber tired. I find myself making faces at my crying daughter. The faces I make are immature and silly like a first grader sticking their tongue out and crossing their eyes. It's some sort of coping method I have taken on that was unexpected to say the least. By far, it's better then shaking my baby. She will have no memory of me rolling my eyes and telling her to get a grip...I hope. Sometimes I just mimic the strange faces she makes to entertain myself. My main reason for losing it these last couple of days is that Scott has been sick. I'm sleep deprived and feel like I have a leech on me. Up until now, Scott and I have been equally holding her and taking turns in responsibilities. Since he's been sick, I've been a "single" mom for a few days. I give huge props to my mom who did it alone with my brother for the first few years of his life. It takes a lot of strength and patience to get through each day.
I have managed to get her into the car seat and go to the salon for a couple of hours at a time. We take her out to eat with us and she sleeps right through the noise. We have gone for walks in her super sweet stroller. During one walk, she blew out her diaper and into the seat. Let me tell you that those tightly woven nylon seats are not easy to clean wet, yellow poop out of. The scrubbing was never ending. I kept taking towel after towel and it would still pull up yellow. I'll take advice on cleaning car seats if you have it :)
She really is an amazing baby, I can't complain. She only cries when she has an issue like a poopy diaper or when she's hungry. Instead of crying, she grunts obsessively. She smiles a lot and it melts her daddy and me every time. I think she has hit a growth spurt because, like I said, I feel like there's a leech on me. Today I cried and told Scott I just need to sleep. Well, you really can't tell a hungry screaming baby that so she wins every time. I think it's time to start pumping for my sanity and her's. I try to take moment by moment and especially take advantage of the few hours she sleeps at a time. What else can I do right now?
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you are doing awesome!!!! but i totally know how you feel, i had to go back into the hospital when Titus was 3 weeks old and i was in there for 2WEEKS, i had to pump and dump because of the medicine they gave me.......i felt like i was failing Titus as a mother....but i need to get better and rest! when i finally went home it was hard for him to go back to breast after being bottle fed for 2 weeks!!! but he did ok....and Jon new how important breastfeeding was to me he pumped me everyday to keep my milk supply up (i was so out of it most of my hospital stay i couldn't pump) after feeling guilty i realized that he is gettting the same milk and me sleeping just alittle bit more made me a better mom and wife!!!!! dont get me wrong i really feel the breast is the best but if i can't be the best for my famliy then thats where i had to rethink whats going on in my schedual. remember you need to rest (i didn't and i wish i did)! don't forget to ask for help. ...especially grandparents want to help!!!! i use to feel guilty that Jon had to go to work and i stayed home....but that baby drains you especially breastfeeding and pumpimg..um and you just gave birth, so dont be afraid to ask scott to help alittle more (when hes not sick :)) especially with cleaning around the house, cleaning diapers and letting you shower (showers are so amazing!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing AWESOME KRISTA!!!!
I would love to try my Norwex enviro cloth on your car seat - it took poop out of our carpet!
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