This 4th of July

I didn't Facebook announce what I did for the 4th of July but I thought I should document this.

I may be vocal about my aches and pains but I also have a weird way of denying that this baby is actually going to come out. I know that they say that she will but really, I have no clue what that looks like or feels like. It's all hearsay in my opinion. I keep saying that I can't wait to meet her but who meets like this? Hey there! You just put my pain scale on a level 76, deformed my body for 9 months, tore through my vagina, and then screamed bloody murder after you took your first real breaths of oxygen in a polluted world. There's no shaking hands or even a cordial introduction. We will meet in a way that I have never met anyone before. Her poor little body, being forced through such a little tunnel and then exposed to lights, action, camera. It's all so beautiful and gruesome at the same time.

Last Saturday, I was walking around with my mom and I had the ol' Braxton Hicks (such a lame way to describe your uterus contracting). Along with it, I had some cramping so I briefly complained and then moved on. At 2am I woke up with stronger contractions and cramping. They were frequent so I did what anyone would do when presented with concerning pre-term labor symptoms, I googled it. Google told me to call the 1st nurse, so I woke Scott up and told him what was going on. He told me to call 1st nurse. I ignored both of them and tried to go back to sleep. At 7am the symptoms of pre-term labor woke me up again. I guzzled some water, convinced Scott to walk with me for a little while, then rested on my left side. They didn't go away so I asked Scott for the number to 1st nurse. She told me to rest for a couple of hours and call back if it continued. I rested, went to church, then took a nap, and ignored my symptoms and my husband's concerns. Finally, at 7pm Scott handed me the phone and it rang to the 1st nurse. I was forced to tell her what was going on. She advised me to time the contractions for an hour then call back. Scott started the timer. "Okay, I'm having one." One minute later, "Okay, it stopped." Four to five minutes later, "Okay, I'm having one." One minute later, "Okay, it stopped." We continued that for an hour and I called 1st nurse back. Apparently, it was a busy night because I was on hold for 15 minutes. In that 15 minutes I was suddenly in pain, not a little but a lot. There wasn't a warning of pain, it just appeared and I was hunched over walking around the house trying to get ready to go to the hospital. Scott was a maniac who was much less in denial than I was. He was writing lists of things we needed to take to the hospital, packing a bag, telling me that this could be for real and I needed to take it more seriously. We didn't have a car seat yet so I joked we could just walk her home since we live so close. He didn't think it was funny and soberly told me that he would pick one up while I was in the hospital. I hobbled to the car and wondered what the neighbors were thinking. I'm sure with Scott running around throwing things in the car, then me coming out of the house saying I wanted an epidural gave it away.

For the first time in my life I went to the ER for my own issues. I have been there several times with friends and family but never for myself and I took pride in that. It's a silly thing to take pride in but I guess I also felt blessed that I've never been an unhealthy person or had an accident that put me in there. They offered me a wheel chair to ride in to labor and delivery but I refused. I slowly walked the hall then tripped on my flip flop which scared Scott and the nurse but I recovered with a laugh and some joke about needing a wheel chair.

They put us in the observation room, of course told me to put that stupid gown on so they could examine my insides and hook me up to a monitor and IV. Within a second of putting the monitor on, we saw the heart beat and contractions. Contractions were every 2-2 1/2 minutes. Within 15 minutes a midwife came in and examined me. I wasn't dilated so she told the nurse to give me the shot to stop contractions. I have never been hooked up with an IV and it made me nervous. Then, they told me that the meds to stop contractions could make my heart race and that made me nervous too. I never take more than Tylenol for anything so I told the nurse I was nervous about all the side affects. She said, "yeah, I would be too but those are just symptoms that might happen." Thanks????? Not very comforting to say the least. It didn't make me feel any better that she was an employee at the cookie place just a year prior and now she was sticking me with an IV. I would rather take a cookie from her.

The first dose didn't work for more than an hour before the contractions were back to every 2 minutes. I was praying they would stop and Scott was praying that we would get to meet her soon. I asked him if he wanted to meet the healthy version of her that we could take home or have to leave her in the hospital for a while to help her lungs develop more. He agreed that it was a good idea to be able to take her home.

They gave me a second dose of meds that sure enough, made me jittery and my heart race. It stopped the contractions though. I really dislike being in the hospital. I couldn't eat, I couldn't get up without disconnecting the monitor cords, and taking my IV with me to the restroom while flashing Scott with my gaping gown. We were there for nearly 12 hours and then the midwife told me we could leave. After being disconnected and given discharge papers I told Scott to hand me my cloths and I was out of that place like a bat out of hell (I've never used that saying before but I feel it was a necessary for drama).

After that experience, I lengthened the list of things I need to bring to the hospital and added a few things to the "birth plan" that I have written up to make myself feel like I have control over how this is all going to go down. We both felt a little disappointed because it wasn't time yet but now I am cherishing the alone time with Scott as a couple until we become a three person family.

Happy Independence Day! I still have another human growing inside of me!